Bumping Geese 14: The Werewolf of Fever Swamp

 What can I say about Goosebumps 14 'The Werewolf of Fever Swamp'?

I'm not actually sure that's a picture of the werewolf

No, really, what can I say about it?

I read this book last week and I've basically forgotten everything about it. Let's see... Um...

'The Werewolf of Fever Swamp' is about a family who moves into a new home in... Well, there are swamps, and it is probably in the USA, so I'm going say Florida. Somewhere in Florida. In the small town of... I'm going to call it Dark Falls. Not because that's the name of it, but because I think that's the name of the town in 'Welcome To Dead House' and all Goosebumps towns are basically the same.

Uh... Where was I?

Oh right.

So this family moves into a new home in a new town, this time in Florida, and the house is near some swamps. And they've moved here because the father is a scientist studying swamp deer. There are no swamp deer in Florida, but he has brought some from... I want to say Africa? From somewhere with swamp deer. I definitely remember swamp deer because I'd never heard of swamp deer and after I write this I'm going to Google whether or not swamp deer actually exist.

I won't be surprised if they do exist. They're probably not from Africa, though. But nature has turned out some weird stuff, and a swamp deer totally...

Hold on. This isn't about swamp deer. This is about Goosebumps. Let's get back to whatever this book was.

So this family has moved to Dark Falls, Florida, to study how swamp deer will manage being moved from Swampistan, Africa to the swamp in Dark Falls, Florida. And I'm going to go out on a limb here and say the swamp is called Fever Swamp. Yeah, that sounds right. Something about a local legend of settlers going crazy with a fever? Oh! And the main character gets a fever... and that sub plot doesn't really go anywhere...

But anyway, this family moves to Dark Falls, Florida with their swamp deer, into a house at the edge of Fever Swamp, and the main character is the son and youngest child of the family... whose name is... Well, I'm going to call him Gabe, which is the name of the kid from 'The Curse of The Mummy's Tomb'. On the first day moving to Dark Falls, Gabe and his sister Lindy (not her real name, and I need not remind you who Lindy is...) go exploring in Fever Swamp, get lost, run into a swamp hermit... Is there a swamp hermit? Pretty sure there is a swamp hermit. For some reason Gabe and Lindy get scared and run out of the swamp and are fine.

After a few days, Gabe makes some friends... Their names are... Kim and Jerry. And it would be cool if they were the Kim and Jerry from the last book and this book finally confirmed the Goosebumps extended universe, but they're not. Pretty sure that's not even their real names. But they could be.

Because I don't remember anything about this book.

And speaking of things I don't remember, I don't remember how many times Gabe and Lindy and Kim and Jerry go exploring in the swamps, but it's a few times and in a few different combinations of the characters, but it's definitely one of those Goosebumps books where scenes kind of repeat a few too many times. At least I think it is. I can't remember. But on one of these occasions, when I think it's Gabe and Kim and Jerry, they get chased by the swamp hermit and Gabe gets bitten by a snake and he's fine but he also gets swamp fever and that doesn't really go anywhere, like I said.

Um... What else...

Oh! So I googled it and it turns out swamp deer are a real thing. But they're not from Africa, they're from south Asia, around the Indian Subcontinent. So that's cool. They're big and floofy but it sounds like they're a threatened species, which sucks. And I don't know if this part is true, but in the book they have these, like, webbed hoofs to walk on swamps, which...

Oh shit. The book. We were talking about a book. The Goosebumps book. Uh... Let's see... Where were we...

Oh yeah! Y'all, there's a werewolf! There's a werewolf in this book! 

So Kim thinks the swamp hermit is the werewolf and the swamp hermit claims to be the werewolf while chasing them, but then says he was just joking to scare them. And Gabe keeps hearing howling at night, and dead animals keep turning up, and Kim insists there is a werewolf in the swamp but Jerry doesn't believe her.

Oh, and Gabe finds a big stray dog and adopts it, and I don't remember what name he gives the dog, so I'm just going to call it Red Herring. So Red Herring is a big friendly boofer of a dog but one night he goes a bit wild and knocks over some furniture while trying to escape the house. After that, when animals start showing up dead, including one of the swamp deer, Gabe's father decides Red Herring must be the killer. And could it be true? Red Herring seems awful intelligent and there are dog shaped paw prints near all the dead animals. Is the real werewolf the pets we adopted along the way?

No.

Obviously not.

So Gabe sends Red Herring away before Gabe's Dad can take Red Herring to the pound. And then one night Gabe goes sneaking out into the swamp for... reasons. I think he wants to prove Red Herring isn't the werewolf. Jerry also sneaks out for... reasons. And off they go together to find the werewolf. And I assume I must be remembering this wrong in some way because this is a terrible plan.

Anyway, it turns out Red Herring isn't the werewolf, but surprise! Jerry is the werewolf! And Jerry attacks Gabe! But Red Herring intervenes and saves Gabe! And the Jerrywolf is driven back! Or maybe killed! I don't remember! But the story ends!

After the attack, Gabe tries to explain all about what happened and how Jerry was secretly a Jerrywolf and Gabe's Dad goes to visit Jerry's house to find out what's up and it turns out the house is empty and nobody has lived there for years.

Oh, and Gabe becomes a werewolf. Yeah. He gets bitten by the Jerrywolf in the climax and so the big twist is that even though Jerry is now gone, Gabe is now the werewolf of Fever Swamp and likes to go hunting on the full moon with Red Herring.

And rather than a shocking horrible twist, it actually sounds like kind of a sweet deal to me. I don't know why the Jerrywolf attacked Gabe, but when Gabe is a Gabewolf he seems to be pretty much in control and just likes hunting with Red Herring and isn't out to hurt anybody. I can only assume Jerrywolf was just always a Jerkwolf.

Anyway, I don't remember much of this book but what I do remember, I remember liking. It's definitely one of the more generic Goosebumps books. All the characters and the premise and the locations feel a bit like a re-tread, and it doesn't do anything exciting with werewolves as a concept. But like with ghosts, I'm just always on board for a werewolf story. Werewolves are cool.

So, yeah. Even though it all kind of slipped through the cracks in my brain as soon as I started reading the next book, I can confidently say this one was fine and I enjoyed it.

Plus, it gives me an opportunity to talk about werewolves from a Marxist perspective. Usually when it comes to a Marxist analysis of the world, vampires are the go to monster metaphor. But I think it's worth looking at how the werewolf mythos gives us an all together different and unique take on...

Um...

A unique take on...

Wait.

What was I talking about?