Tuesday, October 4, 2016

Because I'm A Dentist

I'm tired. Knackered. Absolutely exhausted.

This weekend gone was Sydcon, a role-playing game convention held every October in Sydney. I attended as I always do and had a great time, as I always do.

And now I'm tired. Post-convention fatigue. I want to lay on my couch and watch Supernatural for endless hours and drink tea and recover.

But I'm at my computer. I'm writing. I'm working. I'm making the words happen.

They're not good words. I've had to rewrite paragraphs five times not just because they're bad but because they don't make sense. I've stared at an empty page for long periods of time, then typed a word, then went back to staring. I've been distracted by every stray thought, every fond memory of a YouTube video I suddenly feel I'd like to rewatch and every second song just demands I stop work and I listen to it.

It's been a lot like pulling teeth. My teeth. With copper wire tired to two legged donkey. It's painful and I'm progressing in any hurry.

But I'm still writing.

I don't mind that it's no good. I don't mind that I'll need to rewrite this even more, that I'll basically need to do a new draft of everything I've written so far. I can do that. As a writer, I have infinite retries to get it right.

What's important is I'm doing it.

This isn't writer's block (because writer's block doesn't exist.)

I'm just tired.

I just suck.

But I'm still writing.

I will write better tomorrow, or the day after that, or the day after that. But if I didn't write today, I almost certainly wouldn't tomorrow. If I just kept delaying until I had the ideal circumstances, I'd hardly ever write and then I'd hardly ever improve and then I'd hardly ever get anything done and I wouldn't have written books and I wouldn't be a professional word wizard.

So even though it's painful, even though I'll need to do it all again, even though I'd rather just collapse on my couch and bury myself in Netflix, I'm going to keep writing. It's just what you do.

Don't let a bad day stop you. Don't let sucking stop you. Don't let fatigue stop you. Writing time is precious and if you have it, use it.

Now if you'll excuse me, I've got to go pull some more teeth.

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